Working in libraries we are often asked for help setting up online dating profiles. Scammers often target seniors and those seeking romance so we wanted to provide some information on how to stay safe online while dating. While researching the topic I came across White Oak Library District’s Dating Over 50: Have Fun, Be Safe program led by Outreach Services Manager Tina Williams. Tina told me about the other topics her program had covered to help older adults gain more comfort and confidence in the dating world. With the assistance of community partners, the Kamloops Library hosted three sessions for older adults seeking companionship, and I had the most fun I have had in my library career to date. Roughly 28 brave souls showed up to each session and brought their questions, concerns, and stories. For those of you who missed it, here is all the information we shared.
Our first session, co-hosted by Tara Holmes, covered the basics of dating as an older adult. We talked about how to get out there, how to define what you are looking for, and some of the myths that influence our dating decisions.
Our second session, led by Lisa Purves and Emma Currie of ASK Wellness Society, was on mental, physical, and sexual health for older adults. In the Public Health Agency of Canada’s Centre for Communicable Diseases and Infection Control’s 2017 Surveillance Report, 22.9% of newly reported cases of HIV were in the 50+ age group, which is second only to the 31.2% from the 30–39 year old age group.
Our final session, which was unfortunately cancelled due to the COVID-19 pandemic, addressed online dating. This session compares a variety of online dating platforms and how to be aware of romance scams.
Session 1 – Getting Out There:
Guest Speaker: Tara Holmes, Holmes is Where the Heart Is
- Bizzoco, Lori. “Where to Meet a Mate if You’re Over 48.” Our Time, https://www.ourtime.com/v3/articles?article=27&title=Where-to-Meet-a-Mate-if-Youre-Over-48. Accessed 20 Jan. 2020.
- Cohn, Lisa. “Help! It’s My First Date in 20 Years.” Match, https://www.match.com/magazine/article/6899/Help-Its-My-First-Date-In-20-Years/. Accessed 20 Jan. 2020.
- Cohan, Beatty. “Dating Over 50: The New Rules.” Match, https://www.match.com/magazine/article/5843/Dating-Over-50-The-New-Rules/. Accessed 20 Jan. 2020.
- eHarmony Staff. “Senior Dating Tips: A Guide for Finding Love Again.” eHarmony, https://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/dating/senior-dating-tips-a-guide-for-finding-love-again/. Accessed 20 Jan. 2020.
- eHarmony Staff. “Dating Tips for the 50+ Crowd.” eHarmony, https://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/dating/dating-tips-for-the-50-crowd/. Accessed 20 Jan. 2020.
- eHarmony Staff. “Senior Dating: Strengths of Mature Singles.” eHarmony, https://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/dating-tips/senior-dating-strengths-of-mature-singles/. Accessed 20 Jan. 2020.
- Hecht, Randy B. “Get Back in the Dating Game.” Match, https://www.match.com/magazine/article/7952/Get-Back-In-The-Dating-Game/. Accessed 20 Jan. 2020.
- Kaplan, Chelsea. “Why I Love Dating in my 50’s.” Match, https://www.match.com/magazine/article/7522/Why-I-Love-Dating-In-My-50s/. Accessed 20 Jan. 2020.
- Nero, Mark. “How to Make a List of Values and Qualities You Want in a Man.” Match, https://datingtips.match.com/list-values-qualities-want-man-2366571.html. Accessed 20 Jan. 2020.
- Nestor, Theo Pauline. “10 Fun Places to Meet Midlife Singles.” Match, https://www.match.com/magazine/article/12246/10-Fun-Places-To-Meet-Midlife-Singles/. Accessed 20 Jan. 2020.
- Robinson, Dana. “10 Myths About Singles Over 40.” Match, https://www.match.com/magazine/article/13339/10-Myths-About-Singles-Over-40. Accessed 20 Jan. 2020.
- Tara Holmes. “Shopping List.” Holmes Is Where The Heart Is, 10 May 2019. https://holmesiswheretheheartis.ca/shopping-list/. Accessed 20 Jan. 2020.
- Tara Holmes. “Cabbage Patch Dolls.” Holmes Is Where The Heart Is, 1 Jun. 2017. https://holmesiswheretheheartis.ca/cabbage-patch-dolls/. Accessed 20 Jan. 2020.
- Tara Holmes. “Red Flag does not mean Canada.” Holmes Is Where The Heart Is, 1 May 2019. https://holmesiswheretheheartis.ca/red-flag-does-not-mean-canada/. Accessed 20 Jan. 2020.
Session 2 – Health & Wellness:
- Kamloops Mental Health and Substance Abuse (Interior Health)
250-377-6500, North Shore: 250-376-7855, After Hours Help 250-377-0088
- Get Checked Online: www.getcheckedonline.com / Promo Code: Thompson
- Kamloops Seniors Health & Wellness Centre: #61-700 Tranquille Rd
250-312-3290, 8:00-4:00PM Monday – Friday
- Kamloops Community YMCA-YWCA: https://www.kamloopsy.org/
- Centre for Seniors Information: www.csikamloops.ca, firstname.lastname@example.org
CSI Activity Centre: Brock Shopping Centre, 9A 1800 Tranquille Road
Hours: 9:00AM – 4:00PM Monday – Friday Closed Holidays, (778) 470-6000
- CSI Information Centre: Northills Shopping Centre, 25 700 Tranquille Road
Hours: 9:30AM – 4:00PM Monday – Friday Closed Holidays, (250) 554-4145
- eHarmony Staff. “Report: Mature Couple and Sex.” eHarmony, https://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/about-you/report-mature-couples-and-sex/. Accessed 17 Feb. 2020.
- Haddad, N., Li, JS., Totten, S., and McGuire, M. “HIV in Canada—Surveillance Report, 2017.” Canada Communicable Disease Report (CCDR), vol. 44, no.12, 2018, 348-56. https://doi.org/10.14745/ccdr.v44i12a03.
Session 3 – Online Dating:
Guest Speaker: Dave Kehler, Computer Trainer, Thompson-Nicola Regional Library
- Dixon, Robyn. “Nigerian Cyber Scammers.” Los Angeles Times, 20 Oct. 2005, https://www.latimes.com/la-fg-scammers20oct20-story.html.
- Drewa, Anne. “Romance Scams Are On the Rise. Here’s How To Avoid Them.” Global News, 11 Feb. 2019, https://globalnews.ca/news/4950471/romance-scams-canada/.
- Government of Canada. Competition Bureau Canada, 2019, www.competitionbureau.gc.ca. Accessed March 14, 2020.
- “The Invisible Man, Part One.” CTV News, https://www.ctvnews.ca/video?clipId=1819628
- Lee, Joel. “Tinder for Adults: The 5 Best Senior Dating Sites.” Make Use Of, https://www.makeuseof.com/tag/too-old-for-tinder-try-these-5-alternative-dating-apps/. Accessed 13 Mar. 2020.
- Leffler, David. “This Army Veteran Become the Face of Military Romance Scams. Now He’s Fighting Back.” Task & Purpose, 4 Jun. 2018, https://taskandpurpose.com/news/military-romance-scams-bryan-denny.
- Otis, Daniel. “No. 1 Scam: Romance Fraud Cost Canadians More than $22.5M in 2018.” CTV News, 13 Feb. 2019, https://www.ctvnews.ca/lifestyle/no-1-scam-romance-fraud-cost-canadians-more-than-22-5m-in-2018-1.4294076.
- Reverse Image Search, 2020, https://tineye.com/.
- “Romance Scams.” Edmonton Police Service, 2020, https://www.edmontonpolice.ca/CrimePrevention/PersonalFamilySafety/Frauds/OnlineScams/Romance%20Scams.
- “Romance Scam Scripts”. Better Business Bureau, https://www.bbb.org/stlouis/get-consumer-help/romance-scam-scripts/.
- Shea, Courtney. “He Stole Their Hearts, Then Their Money. Meet The Women Trying To Catch One Of Canada’s Most Prolific Romance Scammers.” Chatelaine, 17 Jan. 2020, https://www.chatelaine.com/living/romance-scammer-canada-marcel-andre-vautour/.